Rebirth.

Earlier this year I was sitting by a pond writing what was supposed to be the beginning of the end of my book, a travelers guide for narcissistic, insecure assholes. I was looking over the water, gently disturbed by the children playing and the ducks trying to live their lives. In that moment I had a serious realization, a revelation that was gonna change my future as well as my past. I was gonna finish something for the first time in my life. It might not have been the greatest tale ever written, but at least I did it, by myself, all the way through. And in that same moment God decided to punish me, the lord knows he has many reasons to do so, but to take away my last salvation was the cruelest joke. My laptop died never to be turned on again.

That was ten months ago and I haven't written a word since, until now. I've decided to give this writing thing another go, not really because I want to write as much as I need to write. It's as much a part of me as my will to breathe, and I do that every day without a second thought, it comes to me so naturally that if I would stop I would feel out of place. The same goes for my writing, it's not always special or unique, but the feeling I get from finishing a text is arousing in the most existential way. Like medicine without the liver damage, like amphetamine without the come down, like a joint without the paranoia. But I realize now, that I will always need another hit, another sentence, another perfect compilation of letters to make myself feel complete.