Watching the sunlight seep through the dirt stained glass while pushing the wheels on it's rail makes me think of a more innocent time. A time when I didn't constantly question everything, a time when I could let things happen without a second thought, a time when I could just be. But now, things are different. I know too much and I have been knowing too much for a long time. That's why sometimes I go into periods of denial and regression, because I can't absorb the massive impact that knowing things has. It's a weight on one's conscience, it's a dead weight that you carry around every hour of every day. And you can't talk to people because they're all in denial and like it that way. They watch the sun beams stroll over the dirty floor without pondering on the heavy details of our corrupted world. Maybe I don't give them enough credit, I don't know, but to walk around smiling and laughing all day is something I am unable to do. Because I know what's coming, I been knowing it for a long time and I also know that nothing and nobody is going to stop it. Like a flood coming to flush the sinners, it will wipe the slate clean.
I've known this ever since I first heard about oil itself, but back then in school it was something to appreciate. Because the teacher was telling us where all the cool stuff we have came from, but he also mentioned that it was a limited fossil fuel and that it takes millions of years to replenish it. My first thoughts were: Well, how much do we have? When will it run out?
This is only one way for the planet to go under, there are dozens more, but I estimate that one way or the other, our apocalypse is coming during my life time. And I want to see it, because I want to say "I told you so" and smile as my lovely country disappears in the flood, ice, vapor or whatever.
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